May I?
by nitoki
Summary: Songfic. The song is "May I?" by Trading Yesterday. One-shot.


**A/N: **Once again, hello guys. ^_^ This is just me taking a break from my two ongoing fanfics; Black and Silver & Jewel in History. I'm sad that I haven't gotten to this sooner, but now I get to write it! Yay! This is a songfic; meaning that this is being written after a song. The song that I'm writing this after is called "May I?" by Trading Yesterday. So this one-shot will probably be a lot more enjoyable if you listen to the song while reading it. I hope you guys all enjoy some Lawrence/Holo fluff~! :D

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**May I?**

_And there you stand opened heart; opened doors  
Full of life with the world that's wanting more_

He had been sitting in the little motel room that him and his "companion" were currently staying in, awaiting for her to return. She promised she would be back by sundown, and that was about an hour ago. All he could do was wait patiently for her, for he knew she would have his head if he ever doubted her or her words. That was the thing with her, she was very stubborn. And not to mention arrogant. Sure she was a deity, but that didn't mean she couldn't get hurt from time to time, or that she didn't ever need help with things. He sighed, the silver coins he had been shuffling calmly in his palms clanked together softly. He was done counting his savings, and now he was just bored to death. He looked up as soon as he heard her voice; she was finally here. She was talking to the motel owner, apologizing for her late return.

He stood up and slowly made his way to the door, opening it for the queen. There she stood, with her hands on her hips, showing off her large canines with a grin. Her face was flushed, she was drunk. She brushed past him slowly, making her way to her bed to lay down. He closed the door after she sat down, and he sat down adjacent from her on his own bed.

"Well, that was certainly fun." She giggled as she removed her hat, allowing her ears to breathe. She then removed her cloak, revealing her quite expensive outfit, and her long tail. She smiled at him since he looked displeased, it was fun irritating him. Her chin then rested on her palm as she studied his face carefully. He raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes, which made her giggle even more.

"What took you so long? I was bored to death here waiting for you." He rested his head in his palm, sighing. She certainly was a handful. She smirked at the stressed out look on his face, then her nose crinkled in disgust at his whining.

"Well, I'm sorry for just wanting to leave this cramped up place and wanting some fresh air." She retorted as she crossed her arms defiantly. How dare he worry about her! "I am a wolf after all, who is used to breathing nothing but the freshest of air and running whenever I please to do so." She was Holo the wise wolf, not some defenseless teenage girl who couldn't leave without some one to accompany her. She could take down a whole army of men by herself if she wanted to. No mortal was as strong as her, no matter how many of them banded together.

He sighed heavily once again and threw a smile her way. "Don't worry, once you pay your debt, you can go wherever you please." He stood up and made his way to the only table in the room, his silver hair gently being swayed by the sudden movement. "So you can do whatever you please." He mocked as he sat back down in the wooden chair. This made her heart drop exponentially. Is this how much he disliked her...?

His words had scared her as an unwanted light went off in her head; once she paid him, he would bring her to the North, as promised. He would leave her. She would be alone, once again. Loneliness was the only thing the Goddess was afraid of. People around her died all the time, while she lived a seemingly endless life, just watching helplessly as they left her. She could never get close to anyone without it hurting her in the end, meaning she could never love anyone. It would just bring her pain when they passed on while she was stuck in this realm. She dreamed of it every night; losing the very man who sat in this room, watching him alive one moment and in the blink of an eye, gone the next. Her ears lowered as she slowly laid on her side, too depressed to even lay down right.

_But I can see when the lights start to fade_  
_The day is done and your smile has gone away_

He noticed that she hadn't said a word after what he had said. Was she already asleep? It had only been a few moments. He quietly put his small bag of coins away, and glanced back at her. His eyes widened as he saw her, she was... sad? He had never seen her this way before! She was always flirting with him and saying the most wittiest things she could think of to annoy him. She was always bouncing around, laughing her pretty little head off and then scolding him for something he did wrong. But now she laid there, with a look of grief and sorrow clearly written across her features. Did he say something wrong?

"Holo? Are you alright?" She didn't even seem to acknowledge him, she hadn't moved an inch from hearing his words. Her only reaction was her fists tightening on the piece of cloth she held in both palms. A rather shaky sigh then signified that she was ready to finally talk to him again.

"I'm quite alright, thank you. I am just a little... sleepy. Nothing is troubling me, if that is what you're asking." At this, she slowly sat up with her ears still pressed against her auburn hair. A majority of her face was shadowed by her bangs from the candle light, but he could tell that she was indeed frowning. She didn't even bother looking at him, for she didn't want him to see her this way. It would be too shameful. He looked at her, trying to tell if she was telling the truth or not, but the sniffle he heard proved her wrong.

_Let me raise you up_  
_Let me be your love_

She looked up at him as she heard him walk towards her, unshed tears making her ruby eyes glisten. A sigh escaped his lips as he sat down next to her, he then looked at her curiously. Usually, she would cling to his arm almost immediately and start talking about how cute and stupid he was, but now she didn't seem to notice him sit on her bedside next to her. He tilted his head, waiting to hear her answer. She then slowly turned her head to face him, and he could clearly see how upset she was.

"What's wrong?" He pushed a loose strand of hair behind her petite shoulder, and leaned in closer to her. She sniffled once again as a stray tear ran down her rather pale cheek. Her brows furrowed as her lips pressed tightly against each other, and to his surprise she threw her head onto his shoulder, allowing her to cry into his neck. He didn't exactly know what to do since he had rarely been in situations like this, let alone with a deity, so he just rubbed her back slowly.

"I don't want to leave you..."

_May I hold you_  
_As you fall to sleep?_  
_When the world is closing in_  
_And you can't breathe?_

His eyes widened as she lifted her head up to look into his eyes, a pleading and begging look was visible within her crimson orbs. Her small hands rested on his shoulders, and she squeezed them tightly as more tears made her way down her beautiful face. Her tail curled behind her as she tried her best to focus on him. She was embarrassed that he was actually seeing her this way, but at the moment she didn't care. She needed this.

"Lawrence, I don't want to be alone..." Her gaze fell down to her lap as her own shoulders began to tremble, trying in vain to suppress oncoming sobs. "I... I'm tired of it! I can't take it! Why must I go through this?" Reassuringly, he placed his arms around her shaking shoulders and pulled her in to a tight hug. The top of her head was pressed against his shoulder as her fists squeezed their handles even more.

_May I love you?_  
_May I be your shield?_  
_When no one can be found_  
_May I lay you down?_

He sighed as he laid his head on her own affectionately, tightening his hug slowly. He didn't know how it was like for her to constantly be losing everything she had, but he tried to think of something so he could empathize instead of sympathize. He didn't exactly know how he could do it so she could calm down, but he had to try. This was probably one of those rare times when she broke down; she was proud, so she wouldn't just cry in front of anyone. It was probably hard for her, to actually sink so low as to actually turn to someone for comfort. This would probably anger her ego, but he knew he couldn't just do nothing for her. She was like any other creature; she had feelings that could get hurt.

"It's alright, us peddlers suffer from loneliness as well." His fingers began to run through her hair, trailing down her back. Her trembling stopped, which was a sign of her feeling better. She still didn't move her head, she wasn't ready just yet. His hand reached the middle of her back, and made it's way up to the backside of her head to start it's way down again.

"I know it's not easy, to not have anyone around. It's hard." She placed her chin on his shoulder, and leaned into his ear. His free arm tightened it's grip around her, but not so much as to hurt her. Another sniffle came from her, she was beginning to stop crying, which was good. She then pushed herself from his embrace, and looked at him angrily.

"Do you know what it feels like to watch people die around you everyday while you can do nothing but watch?" She snapped as her ears pulled back, as a wolf would snarl at his enemy right before he attacked. Her eyes then became sharp, the garnet shades now looking like a blazing inferno. "Do you know how it feels like to watch people grow old when you remain the same? When they grow up and have children and grandchildren while you are still young?" New found tears then trailed once more down her cheeks, her eyes still giving off an angry look.

"No, you do not know! You can live a happy life with others, grow old with the people that you love! Where all I can do is just watch you humans! Most of my kind died, only my family remains. But who knows if they're even there in the North still? Without them..." She trailed off, her eyes softening slightly.

"I have nothing." Her head hung as her body racked with pain and sorrow. This was what she had to put up with, a endless life with nothing but pain to look forward to. It was another reason why she despised mortals, they could die early. They could escape the unwanted pain, whereas she had to always put up with it. She couldn't leave when she so desperately wanted to.

_All I want is to keep you safe from the cold_  
_To give you all that your heart needs the most_

Her words stung, they replayed loudly in his head. She was right... He didn't know the pain that she was going through, and he would never come close to fully knowing. He didn't know what else to say, he had been defeated. Sighing, he pulled her in for another hug, which to his luck she did not object to.

"You have me." He finally responded, making her stop moving altogether. She lifted her face to look into his eyes, he was smiling warmly. His eyes were calm and assuring, his smile was friendly. Her eyes widened as tears stopped flowing, her ears perked up.

_All that's made me _  
_Is all worth trading _  
_Just to have one moment with you_

She knew that she didn't have to be alone, at least for a while. She knew that she was welcome to stay with him, even if she did pay him back. She was grateful that he would be willing to spend his travels with her, because she thought it was always fun. As long as he was there with her. He didn't get mad or push her away like what she had just did, but he welcomed her with open arms. This was one of those moments she was glad that he was a male, doing what one should do for a girl in her time of need. Maybe he wasn't so naive after all.

"Lawrence..."

_So I will let go _  
_All that I know _  
_Knowing that you're here with me_

"I won't leave you." His nose pressed against her wet cheek as he began to nuzzle her there. She had stopped crying, and didn't even move when he leaned in close to her face. Her mouth was agape, and her face began to burn terribly. He then moved his face directly in front of her own, and looked deep into her eyes. "I don't want to be alone, either." His fingers pushed some of her locks out of her face, letting his nose touch her own. Their eyes closed simultaneously, as they both sighed out of relief. She chuckled as she moved her face back, making him look at her in question. A smile then made it's way onto her face as she placed a hand on the side of his head, resting in his soft hair.

"You are an idiot."

He smiled back, and leaned towards her face once more. This time, he pressed his lips against her own, letting passion take over him. Her smile grew as she pushed her lips against his, letting him know her feelings for him. She didn't care if he would go sooner than she, all she cared about was that she would remain by his side and watch him open his own store, and help him run it. She would be with him until the end. And he would be with her for as long as he could.

_For your love is changing me_

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**A/N: **Aww, I love these two to death along with the song. c: R&R~ it will make me oh so happy!


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